1. First, recognise that not everyone is like you.
We have different likes and dislikes, we want different things, and we
all see people and the world in different ways. Hence, it
is natural that sometimes people will be upset, offended, or react
differently from what we expected. It’s not necessarily personal – it’s
more a reflection of the fact that we all are different.
2. Try and leave your emotions aside
and objective analyse the situation. Ask yourself: “Is this person’s
reaction triggering something me?” It could be that you are
over-reacting to a perceived rejection because of previous hurts, put
downs and rejections. Alternatively, the other person’s reaction could
be more related to what is going on in their life at the time (rather than being a personal rejection of you.)
3. Be alert to over-generalising and
over-personalising. For example, look out for the tendency to think
things like that “That means I’m a terrible person, and no-one likes me”
or “I never do anything right. I always say and do the wrong thing. I’m
always going to get it wrong and be rejected by everyone.”
4. Look for friendships and affirmation in other
places. It’s wise to have a wide range of friends and acquaintances so
that our self-image and self-esteem aren’t tied into how a few key
people treat us, or react towards us.
5. Accept that snubs and rejections are part of
life. We can’t please all of the people all of the time – we can only
please some of the people some of the time. And while it’s wise to check
to see if we display certain habits, traits or behaviors that often
annoy others (and it is wise to work on changing those), at the end of
the day we just have to be ourselves. We can’t spend our lives walking on egg shells, or trying to be someone we were never meant to be.
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