Self-Improvment or Self-Acceptance?

Everywhere we look, we encounter articles on either self-improvement or on self-acceptance. So which should we be focussing our energy on?

1.     Self-Improvement

The goal of self-improvement, as you might expect, is continually working on improving yourself. That has some definite advantages:

·         You’ll learn to overcome some of your weaknesses – some areas of life that could be holding you back.

·         It will likely bring success – and so your life will improve. (You’ll also earn more money and so can buy the things you want.)

·         If you succeed in life, you can achieve much more for others. So you can really make a difference in the wider world.

However, on the negative side, if you focus too much energy on self-improvement:

·         You may always feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled – so you never feel you, or your life, is good enough.

·         You start to think that your achievements are in significant as the goal post’s always moving – and you’re on to the next thing. Hence, success feels empty, as there’s always a new goal.

·         You may become judgmental – and think that other people should be working on their lives, and doing better than they are.

2. Self-Acceptance

The goal of self-acceptance is being comfortable with, liking and respecting the person you are now. This also has some very clear advantages:

·         It allows you to focus on and celebrate your strengths – those areas of your life where you are doing really well.

·         You don’t have to do anything to feel content – it’s not based on appearances, on “stuff”, or success.

·         You’re more accepting of others, and have great qualities like kindness, gentleness and empathy.

However, on the negative side, if you focus too much energy on self-acceptance:

·         You may feel like you’re pretending, as you’re really not that happy … And there’s plenty in your life that you would like to change.

·         You may underachieve as you don’t push yourself – and you use self-acceptance to be lazy, and not try.

·         You might find it hard to find the motivation to change bad habits, or challenge problems that are real.

So, the best way forward is to learn from both approaches – and to combine the strengths of each in your life.