1.
Make sure you’re feeling in control, emotionally, before raising the issue. You
don’t want to react (or over-react). You want to remain calm, and to come
across as being balanced and reasonable.
2.
Choose an appropriate time and place for the discussion.
3.
Confrontations usually put people on the defensive. Therefore, begin the
conversation by expressing your positive intentions. Pay attention to your tone
of voice and body language. These should be open and warm, not aggressive and
attacking.
4.
Choose your words carefully. Describe specific, identifiable behaviours. Don’t label
people.
5.
Describe the effects of the behaviour. For example, when you do (x or y), it
tends to lead to (z).
6.
Take responsibility for your own feelings
and reactions. Use “I” language. For example, I feel angry, put down, and written
off.
7.
Make the focus what you WANT, not what you DON’T want.
8.
Ask the person for their input, suggestions and ideas - and then wait and listen for their
perspective. If you can co-operate together, the outcome is likely to be much
more successful and positive.
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