7 Anger Management Tips

1.  Think before you speak as you can’t take back your words.

2. Don’t say anything until you’re feeling calm. We often regret what we say when we are mad.

3. Be simple and clear when you express what bothered you. Don’t be disrespectful, rude or hyper-critical.

4. Choose to leave the room or to distract yourself when you feel your emotions are really being stirred.

5. Try, if you can, to get some exercise as that reduces stress, and changes physiology.

6.  Think about the people you enjoy being with, as that will remind you that not everyone is bad.

7.  Try to plan ahead so you have some strategies when your feel the anger rising, and you need to take control.

7 Tips for Dealing with Feelings of Social Awkwardness

Almost everyone feels socially awkward at times. It’s partly generated by fearing we don’t know how to fit in with others, or meet social expectations. Tips to help with overcoming feeling socially awkward include

1. Recognize that most people feel that way at times – even if they hide it, and they look quite confident. So your feelings are quite normal (something many struggle with).

2.  Pay attention to your selftalk. Don’t criticize yourself. Be kind and understanding, and gentle with yourself. Also, you need to be your own best friend – who there’s to say that you WON’T fail!

3. Try to locate the source of your feelings. Is it because you are in a new situation and don’t know what is expected of you? Is it because you’re naturally introverted and shy? Is it because you’ve been bullied or made fun of it the past? Is it because you feel you don’t belong, or haven’t been accepted by the people you are with?  

4. Attack and address the source of those negative feelings. Especially work on accepting, valuing and thinking well of yourself. Also, making small talk, being friendly and chatting naturally are skills that you can work on, learn, and master over time.

5. Remind yourself these people are not your final judges!!! Also, there’s no need to feel inadequate, inferior, or ashamed. 

6. Expect things to go well, and focus hard on being relaxed. Take slow deep breaths, and build a picture of picture yourself feeling confident.  

7. Try to act relaxed and confident (regardless of your feelings) and you’ll find that you feel better, and less anxious and afraid.

How to Feel More Contented with your Life

1. Take a moment to be grateful for something. What in your life is good, or makes you happy? Even if everything seems to suck, there must be at least one good thing. Find something, and begin by being grateful for that.

2. Catch yourself thinking, “This sucks.” It’s amazing how often people think this thought. It might be in different words, but if you catch yourself going down that road, stop and try and reverse the thinking. Find a way to see something good or beneficial in the crummy situation.

3. Find the little things that bring you joy. Find the simple things that make you happy, and focus on those rather than on what is wrong, or what you don’t have.

4. Identify things about yourself that you’re actually happy with. We tend to criticize and put ourselves down. Try and break that habit by asking yourself, “What do I do right? What am I good at? Make a list, and keep adding to every day. Then, start to focus on those things rather than on the negatives.

5. Use the same approach with others in your life. Instead of attacking them, or focusing on their flaws and shortcomings, ask yourself, “What is good about this person? What do I like about them?”

7 Steps to Happiness

1. Fear less, love more.
2. Frown less, smile more.
3. Talk less, listen more.
4. Judge less, accept more.
5. Complain less, appreciate more.
6. Speak less, do more.
7. Doubt less, trust more.

8 Life Lessons

1. Let go of anger. When we erupt in anger we often feel much worse. Hence, it’s better to cool off and to work on staying calm.

2. When people treat you badly it’s rarely “about you”. More often it tells you how that person is feeling, or some other issues that are bothering them. 

3. You’re not the only one who has struggled with this issue – so don’t feel so awful, or put yourself down. 

4. Enjoy the good times, and savour every moment as life is a precious gift to be enjoyed. 

5. Work and be persistent as it’s worth the slog and pain. In the end it makes a difference as the pay off is success.

6. You need to find a passion and set yourself some goals if you want to go somewhere, and makes something of life. 

7. Relationships can teach us so much about ourselves. Both the good and the bad show us who we really are. They reveal what we think, and how we feel, about ourselves – as well as what our values and our expectations are.

8.  Don’t put off to tomorrow what you could do today. You’ll achieve so much more if you push full steam ahead.  And easing off too much sows the seeds of laziness. You’ll have much more self respect if you achieve more than you’d planned.    

Coping Statements for Anxiety

It is often possible to manage anxiety by actively replacing irrational thoughts with more balanced and reasonable thoughts like the following:

1. I’m going to be OK. Sometimes my feelings are irrational and false. I’m just going to relax and take things easy. Everything is going to be fine.

2. Anxiety may feel bad but it isn’t dangerous. There’s nothing wrong with me. Everything is going to be OK.

3. Feelings come and feelings go. Right now I feel bad but I know this is only temporary. I’ve done it before so I can do it again.

4. This image in my head isn’t reasonable or rational. I need to change my thinking and focus my attention on something that’s healthier, and generally helps me to feel good about myself. For example _____________.

5. I’ve managed to interrupt and change these thoughts before – so I know I can do it again. The more I practise this, the easier it will become. Anxiety is a habit – and it’s a habit that I can break!

6. So what if I anxious. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not going to kill me. I just need to take a few deep breaths and keep going. 

7. Just take the next step. Just do the next thing.

8. Even if I have to put up with a period of anxiety, I’ll be glad that I did, and persevered, and succeeded.

9. I can feel anxious and still do a good job. The more I focus on the task at hand, the more my anxiety will ease, then disappear.

10. Anxiety doesn’t have a hold on me. It’s something I’m working on, and changing over time.

Tips to Help you Focus

1. Get rid of as many distractions as you can. Switch off your phone; close tumblr and facebook; work away from other people – and don’t tell them where you are!

2. Make sure you’ve attended to your physical needs or else they’ll distract you - as you’ll feel uncomfortable. For example, wear relaxing clothes; set the room temperature so that it’s not too hot or cold; and have a snack and some water close at hand.  

3. Plan to work at a time when you’re usually most productive. For example, if you’re a morning person, set your alarm and get up early – and make that a pattern, no matter how you feel.

4. Take control of, and silence, that restless inner voice that tries to distract you, and stops you focusing. Also. sometimes it is helpful to set aside some time to listen to those voices – then return and do some work.

5. Allow yourself a break after each half hour of work as it’s difficult to concentrate for longer than that.

6. Get outside for a while and try to do some exercise as that wakens you up and helps you focus on your work.   

How to Cope with Emotional Abuse

1. First, recognize when you are in a controlling, manipulative, disrespectful or punitive relationship. Usually, the person will be highly critical of you and their comments will have emotional undertones. There is usually also a threat of rejection or abandonment. 

2. If you can, walk away from the relationship. It’s unhealthy to be caught up in emotional games where you are the pawn, and you feel trapped and abused.

3. Establish boundaries. For example, don’t allow the person to engage you in critical conversations and emotional put downs. Walk away from any outbursts and emotional displays.

4. Agree to what you will, and will not, accept in the relationships. State these in clear and explicit terms.

5. Put your needs and values before their needs and values (as they will be unlikely to respect these in you first.)   

6. Make sure that “no” means “no” … and don’t accept small compromises. 

7. Don’t allow yourself to get drawn into any arguments. It will likely go downhill, and you will end up feeling bad.

8. Surround yourself with people who see your gifts and strength – and remind yourself that their viewpoint reflects reality!